Why your martial arts class sucks

If there is anything the Internet has taught me, it's that people love lists....Here you go...10 reasons martial arts classes suck:

1. No understanding of what a martial art is. Martial arts is learning and training the skill of fighting a fully resisting and attacking opponent. It isn’t easy to train this and there are a few different strategies….all flawed to some degree. If we just lay into each other 100% with no protection  a la “fight club”, we will spend most of our time injured. Pads and protection change things, rules change things, tuishou is not fighting, chisao is not fighting, wrestling is not fighting, judo is not fighting, boxing is not fighting. All of these activities have pros and cons. The important thing is that there is some understanding and discussion of why you use a training method and how it relates to actual fighting and why you are doing it that way. Learning to fight requires actually doing the activity of fighting at least occasionally or at least trying to replicate actual fighting as closely as possible with modifications for safety reasons. Most martial arts that work, train from 0% to 80% and then occasionally go 100% or have reasons for not doing so. My classes don’t go 100% and I have to consider and reconsider those reasons often(some people dispute my reasons and I understand that) but I would be the first person to say you gotta fight to learn to fight. Chisao alone won’t do it. It’s a training method. Also, a martial art should use techniques, principles and/or strategy to overcome an opponent’s potentially greater speed, size and or strength. All this can be ignored if the stated purpose of the class is to do something other than fight.
2. Series of movements are trained on an unresisting and or defensive opponent. This is the type of training where someone throws a punch and the receiving party then does 2 to 20 unanswered moves with the intent of “chaining together” moves. This kind of training ritual is pretty common in Youtube videos. Also in this category is training to attack based on how the opponent will react defensively…”You feint to his eyes and when he squints you grab his left arm and pull, when he pulls back you grab his neck, etc.” If you use this method, get ready to freak out when the person you are fighting attacks rather than reacts to you. You see a lot of this kind of thing in useless self-defense classes. Most training should be spent in non-cooperative exercises.
3. No appreciation for size, strength, speed and fitness. It IS possible to overcome these things, but it isn’t easy. You have to use superior strategy and then optimize these factors as much as possible. If you are getting simple answers for dealing with these issues, watch out. 
4. Guru or lineage worship. Here’s a secret…nobody is that awesome. Ok, maybe they are, maybe they are a genius, but you know what. If they are that much of a genius, they are probably a shitty teacher. There are very few things that you can only learn if you are taught it by someone who was taught it by someone else. Anyone can discover anything or improve on anything. Sure it's great to have a great teacher and a great training environment improves learning a lot, but anyone who tells you they are the only way has something to sell. They want your money or your attention. Good places to train create environments where people can learn, create and share. The group learns faster than one person.
5. Lack of concern for safety, manners and training efficiency.  If lots of people are getting hurt regularly and no one cares, what the hell? Martial arts is about violence and to train that isn’t easy so we have to figure out ways to be safe. Don’t get me wrong, people will get hurt when you are pushing the envelope, but that is the way anything competitive works. That is why there has to be concern about safety. As for manners, people should be communicating about manners and the way to act, hygiene and that kind of thing. It shouldn’t be “cool” to hurt someone intentionally, to bully someone or to work out on filthy mats. As for training efficiency, people should be communicating about the best way to train that doesn’t just involve repeating movements.
6. Higher level  people don't move more gracefully and more relaxed or don't get better results. Oh man, this one gets me. If you want to learn something like martial arts from someone, the people who are good at it should move well. They should have some relaxed mojo and confidence. If they don’t, why study the art.
7. Non-stop political infighting and status battles. People who can’t fight have more status. This crap can infect any group doing an activity. The focus should be on the skill. Of course there will always be people who don’t get along, but when the whole class or gym is all cliquey and this group hate that group and won’t train together or people are worried about who is senior to whom, what the hell kind of tea party is that? Also, if status (who the hell cares about your status in some martial arts group?) depends on how long you have been training rather than skill, that is a bit odd.
8. Emphasis on techniques over principle. When you go to class and someone teaches a technique without explaining how it works, and then teaches another technique next week and another after that, you are on the teat. How do you get off the teat if you don’t understand the thinking involved in why you would do a technique this way. Why pay money to have techniques parceled out to you when you could be hooked on sweet heroin?
9. More discussion than training. Long lectures and talking about everything under the sun where the teacher is the “expert” on everything rather than working out. I will give you another secret. Martial arts teachers know about as much about life in general as Spanish teachers. Only doing the skill gives you the skill.
10. Culture worship over reality. Wing chun uses Cantonese to name techniques and Judo uses Japanese…hey, fair dinkum. But if people are all worried about the language issues and the history of it over how it works, maybe they should join an anime club. If you want to wear a sash and argue about the true meaning of a Chinese phrase or the tea ceremony, please remember that while you are worried about that, Chinese people are eating hamburgers and playing World of Warcraft. Also, if you quote the Tao Te Ching...well...yikes.

Ok, ten isn’t quite enough…here is one more.

• Not fun. No socializing. Dudes who do stuff together have fun and joke around and       get together to drink and talk about girls or have dinner or bowl or whatever. If that isn’t occurring, why not? If it's not ever fun, go join a yoga class and meet some chicks.

This list probably came off a little judgmental, but the truth is my own class has been or is often guilty of many of these things. Hopefully, writing it will help me figure out how to improve my own classes. Damn! I want my classes to be totally awesome without all this “effort”.

Martial arts is basketball

The world of martial arts has more bullshit, con men, gurus, spiritualists, and misconception than you can shake a stick at.


When people ask me weird questions about martial arts, I often use the "basketball" response. If it doesn't make sense for basketball, it probably doesn't make sense for martial arts.


Don't get me wrong, the metaphor isn't perfect. Since basketball is a sport, it is a bit different than fighting which has hundreds of different approaches and permutations. Also, the metaphor would probably work better if it was an individual sport like tennis. But, bear with me. Here is how it applies.


Question: Can you learn to fight through forms?
My answer: Can you learn to play basketball through basketball forms?
Analysis: Sure you can learn to play better through going through the motions of free throws and jump shots, but the guys who play everyday will most probably win.


Q: Is size important in fighting? Does the bigger guy always win?
A: Is it important in basketball? Does the bigger guy always win?


Q:How does strong qi affect martial arts?
A: How does mojo affect basketball?


Q:What is the best style of martial arts?
A: What is the best style of basketball?


Ok, I think you get the idea. The idea being that if a concept doesn't make sense in something that is familiar to you, why would you believe it for something that is foreign to you? That is not to say that different cultures don't focus on different things or have different strengths and weaknesses, but every culture has fighting so why are people so willing to believe that one culture has the ultimate technique.


I like wing chun because it is a form of stand-up wrestling with punching. That is pretty cool, but the concepts are there in wrestling, or judo or cooperative dance for that matter. People often want easy answers to difficult questions or they want to find the cheat sheet for a skill. There are better strategies and training methods, but no easy way. If you happen to find an easy or superior way, someone will notice and react to it and figure out a way to beat it. That is the way of things.

The secret of martial arts

Intent/Attitude, Attention, Relaxation, Pressure, Leverage, Direction

Everything I can think of that is important is in fighting is encompassed in these words...maybe for any skill. The most important underlying thing that makes you good is your intent/attitude/state of mind. If you have that, you can learn the others. The most important word for the nitty gritty of what the study of martial arts entails is leverage. I may change my mind later though.

There you go... go whoop some ass.

Ok, you are paying attention, but to where?

One thing that comes up again and again or at least it should in wing chun, fighting, dancing, music, and most any skill is the question of where your attention is.

When you drive, you have to watch the road. Even when you look away for a second, you have to keep your attention forward while your eyes quickly look somewhere else. Doesn't matter if you have driven for 10 years or it's your first time, you have to do it to drive or you will crash.

If you dance, you have to feel the music. (Well, you don't have to but then I hope I don't have to watch you dance if you don't). If you are feeling the music, you can't really dance incorrectly. If you do some complicated move that you pay attention to doing rather than the music, it won't "work" or be "right".

When you play music with other people, as long as you are focused primarily on listening to the rhythm and the other members, I promise you will improve. God help your shitty band if you put your attention on that shitty lick you downloaded off Ultimate Guitar rather than the rhythm and your bandmates.

I often encounter the problem of misdirected attention or intent with beginners in wing chun. Your attention should be on what is around you which includes the opponent (I will get into why I don't just say your opponent in another entry). Whatever else you do, be it be punch, walk forward, move your arms, or make a funny face, you have to keep your attention directed outward, which primarily means your opponent and surroundings and not on you and what you are doing. You can't try to "do" all of this complicated bullshit like kuansao, and lapsao and whatever-sao if you have to put your attention on the act of doing it.

You may want to put your attention on a certain move in order to pull it off and try to convince yourself that you will learn to do it "correctly" in the moment later. Bullshit. YOU WILL NEVER GET IT THAT WAY. All the myriad of techniques only have any meaning if done based on your feeling while your attention is on the opponent. The attention can NEVER goes anywhere else. The whole point of chisao is to have your focus on the opponent while you interact with him. Focus on the move while you are alone.

Boxers are usually much better at getting this idea because if  they start thinking about a combination, their hands drop and they get punched in the nose. During chisao, your opponent may punch you or take your balance or "win" in some way, but often the person believes it happened because they did the wrong technique. No, you stopped watching and attacking your opponent.

I also have to add, this problem is directly connected with not moving forward. If you are moving forward, you will look forward, like when you move forward in a car. Hit the brakes and your intent is focused inward. Move forward, attention outward.

Update on Secret Fighting Arts of the World by John F. Gilbey

God I miss the days before the Internet when all we had was the library stacks and the bookstore. If you think wikipedia is bullshit because anyone can write anything, that has nothing on the way things used to be. Not only did we have wacky science fiction and porn fairies that left porn mags under bridges, we also had fake non-fiction books with no way to tell they were full of crap. It's nice to be able to find out if something is bullshit with the click of a hyperlink (I am looking at you Zeitgeist), but sometimes I miss how easily a young lad could believe just about anything was real.

Books about magic, meditation, ninjas and martial arts (I always accidentally write "marital arts" for martial arts for some Freudian reason) were awesome if you were too young or stupid to know better. I was firmly in both categories when I was a kid. We had all that Stephen Hayes ninja crap, The Peaceful Warrior, and best of all Secret Fighting Arts of the World by John F. Gilbey. Secret Fighting Arts was the shit!

It was about this super rich martial arts dude who traveled the world finding the most awesome secret martial arts. Along with such staples as Savate and the dim mak, it also featured tales of meeting masters of the Newcastle Nutter (guy who headed people in the face), the Macedonian Buttock, and the Ganges Groin Gouge (my personal favorite, a martial art where you just try to punch a guy in the nuts). Later, it came out that the book was a joke written by martial arts writer Robert Smith. Damn!

Anyway, when I came to Taiwan years ago, I saw that book sitting on my friends shelf. I said, "whoa! you got this book, it's hilarious!" He agreed, and we laughed about it sometimes.

Recently, he called me and told me he had met a foreigner that lived in Taiwan in the 50s and 60s. He asked him if there were any foreigners coming to Taiwan to study martial arts at that time (he asked because in the book the supposed author mentions being in Taiwan in some chapter). The guy said, "Hell no! At that time, it was such a small world for foreigners to be here, we knew of anyone from anywhere doing whatever they were doing here. No foreigners were doing martial arts period at that time." My friend was happy to have finally disproven the book.

Didn't have the heart to tell him the back story about Robert Smith. Damn, growing up sucks sometimes. Well, at least I am sure Morihei Ueshiba and Socrates from The Peaceful Warrior could really teleport.

Relax into the movement

One of the most difficult and important issues in wing chun or any kind of movement is relaxing as much as possible during each movement. When people start any new kind of movement, they tend to clench their bodies up as their mind tries to do the movement "perfectly".

Unfortunately, its impossible, you can't do new movements or activities perfectly the first time. This "trying" causes all kinds of problems. I think most people attempt to get a new movement down "correctly" and then the relaxation comes later. It doesn't.

The relaxation part is a core part of skilled movement. It needs priority over other aspects of the movement.

What that means is that when doing something new whether it be plucking a guitar string or throwing a punch, it should be done as relaxed as possible from the very beginning. In order to do this, the movement itself will probably be somewhat "incorrect" (it's debatable that there are any incorrect relaxed movements) or sloppy.

Sloppy is great. Be sloppy until you personally feel reasons to move differently. You can't copy someones movement over your own movement. You can only copy the mental state and principles they are using.

One way to speed up this process is to breathe out and let go as you do any new movement. Don't breathe out and relax and then start, do it at the same time as the motion. Breathe out AS you punch. Breathe out and let go as you start chisao. Do it as you jump to dunk the basketball (ok, that's a joke, I can't dunk no matter how much I breathe out.)

Fight with the eyes

Sorry, for the long delay since I last posted, I am currently reworking the site.


I have seen a lot of chisao, sparring and push hands over the years and one thing that I am constantly surprised about is the number of people that look down when they practice fighting. Actually the same thing happens in salsa as well. 


I can understand that a beginner is so concerned with what he or she is doing that they will look down at whatever body part they are moving, but this should be strongly discouraged.


In a fight you have to fight the man, not the moves. Your attention must be firmly on the source of moves. It is possible to do this while looking somewhere else, but it is much easier to just look the direction that your attention is focused.


The body will unconsciously follow where you direct your attention. This means that the body follows the direction of attention. Your eyes usually reveal where your attention is. If you look down, you will go down. Your stance will most likely be unstable.


If you focus on the opponent, then your body will be directed in all movements to pull toward that direction. This is ideal.


It is not enough to have the eyes open in the direction of the opponent, actual intent has to be there. By "intent" I mean you have to actually be looking. You focus on the other party rather than what you are doing. This creates interaction.


One way to look at it is socially. If I approach someone and tell a canned joke or story without focusing any attention on them, it will probably not get much attention or laughs, regardless of how funny the material is. On the other hand, if I relax and actively listen to someone while I make the jokes that naturally occur to me in the moment, I will get a better reaction most of the time. I will also get better at it the more I do it.


Another way I like to look at it is by thinking there is no such thing as preparing or practice. Each time you spar, fight, chisao, wrestle, dance or whatever, its the real thing and should be interactive. Your partner or opponent deserves your full attention. In the doing of the actual activity, you get better. Your eyes are the best indication of where your attention is in the beginning.


Oh, and one last point because I am feeling snarky. Occassionally in wing chun, people like to wear blindfolds to show how awesome their "sensitivity" is. DON'T DO THIS! It misses the point and is extremely undignified. If you want to try closing your eyes sometimes, do so, and do it with them open as well, but leave the blindfolds to the kids.

Vulnerability

I have to work on some computer issues I am having so I am posting from an Internet cafe. Here is something I wrote a little while ago about the subject of "vulnerability".  Thanks to Dan for sending this my way.


Why being vulnerable is important


If you want to think about it simply, two people are in a struggle. If you struggle to win everything, the stronger person wins. If you are the weaker party you have to negotiate. Wing chun is about that negotiation. If you are the stronger party, you don't need it. You need it when you are outgunned. When you are outgunned a good negotiator tries to identify exactly what he or she wants and is willing to sacrifice anything to keep the important parts. In wing chun, we don't want to get hit or give up the control of our balance.


In order to get what I want, I will give up ground (you can push me), I will let you win any struggles that don't result in my getting hit or losing control of my balance. As a matter of fact, I will go ahead and allow you to do as much as you want to do and edit out the parts that result in my getting hit or losing my balance as delicately as possible so as not to cause you any discomfort. That is the cooperation part. The more I allow the other party to be free and do what they want, the smoother it will go and the freer I am to move. So only interrupt their movement for important reasons like if you are going to get hit otherwise.


All this leads to the vulnerability issue. Vulnerabiltiy is just a fact, you are imperfect, weak and can be hurt. Hiding that or locking up or pushing so as not to seem vulnerable will keep you from doing the above. You hide the reality of the interaction from yourself so you can't really feel what is going on and get what is in your interest. It is sort of how socially awkward people often try to hide their weakness and emotions because of their incorrect belief that allowing the flaws to be obvious will result in their being rejected.


This is why I often suggest that people chisao, or hit on girls or dance with the assumption that what you do is wrong, terrible, inadequate...just accept it and yet continue to "play" and be fully in the moment. How do you do things when you aren't worried about the outcome? When you are free to feel and react as you want? Most things are beyond controlling so you have to let go.


To me, this relaxing and letting go is what "kungfu" or being in the zone or effortless mastery or whatever is all about. You let go of fear and expectation and yet fully participate and then the real "you" starts to emerge. It's pretty cool.


I also see you can see this same fear play out in many different venues. People don't take risks because they could die. They don't follow the career they would like because they might not make money. They lock up rather than fight because they could get hurt. They don't talk to the girl because they could get rejected.


All the things that lead to people not putting themselves out there tend to happen anyway in my experience. Run everyday and you will still die, don't fight back and you will still get hit, people who get their colons cleansed die too. The real problem is that if you don't let go and let yourself express itself, who are you and what is the point of your life?

What wing chun is and what it ain't

Anyone who has taken my class knows that I would really prefer to call what we do something other than wing chun. The reason I do call it wing chun is that otherwise people may think I am one of those guys that did a little karate, a little jujitsu and a little wing chun and just combine it in some willy nilly way and call it Will-fu or something. Yuck.


Wing chun is a fighting and training system created by one or more people (I will leave the details of that statement to all those budding kungfu scribes). Most versions involve 6 forms, two weapons and chisao. Chisao is a training method that essentially helps you train fighting in a non-cooperative manner without constantly getting punched in the face.


From studying wing chun, you may discover better ways to move your body, you may learn better ways to generate power, how to relax so that your speed and reactions increase. You may learn better ways to interact, lead, follow, use your opponents energy. I think it is important to remember that all of these things are not wing chun, they are simple physics. For me I try to follow the physics as closely as I can. As you observe the physics you will see simple principles emerge and you will begin to notice the principles at work in other activities such as social dances like tango or in wrestling. I think it is important to do things the "wing chun way" only as far as it corresponds with reality. If it doesn't, dump it. I am sure that many will say that using whatever works IS the wing chun way.

Sticky hands

When people talk about Wing Chun, they ofter refer to being "sticky". It seems to me that a lot of people use this word but don't seem to know what it means. If two people are moving their hands together in some kind of cooperative or coordinated movement. That is not being sticky. If two people who have studied Wing Chun for many years do chisao so they move in kind of Wing Chun style patterns, that is not being sticky.


Sticky is when you are moving toward a person with your hand, arm or other body part, and they want to stop you so they resist, they now have no choice but to move with you in another direction since they resisted getting touched or hit, they are "sticking" to you. Another way to think about it is you put the person in the position of having a choice, they can get hit or stick to you. Either way, you "win".


If you continue to keep your pressure aimed at them, they will continue to stick to you. Constant forward force or perhaps I should say steady forward force is required to be sticky. If the person pulls their hands back or moves backward, this forward force will result in you walking forward. I am not trying to be critical, but I don't understand how chisao is performed or how people can stick if neither person is generating forward force.


Chisao can be performed without this forward force, but it becomes a reaction time drill rather than a truly interactive drill. Without the forward force, whoever moves fastest will win. With the forward force (generated at the feet), better wing chun skill will prevail (ha!, what a silly word).

Walking

After you get comfortable standing with as little effort and tension as possible it is time to move around. Walking may seem easy and something we can all do, but many people do it in an unnatural or inefficient way.

Gravity pulls your body down so there is no need to push down when you walk. If you push down against the ground, your body will pop up which is inefficient. The "trick" is to push your foot in the opposite direction in which you wish to travel...back to go forward, right to go left and so on. Also keep your body relaxed but straight and try to push your pelvis rather than upper body. The last most important thing is to pay attention to what is around you rather than your legs or your body and breathe naturally.

Exercise 3 - Skating
Stand on one leg and relax. Don't try to keep your balance. If you fall just trade legs. Now, push your pelvis and trade legs. Keep the upper body relaxed and perpendicular to the ground. Make sure you don't bounce and that your head stays at the same height. Keep your attention outward and stay relaxed and move in all directions at varying speeds and rhythms.

Guide to the martial arts

About twelve years ago, my friends and I had a weird informative/humor website called Expo Extra and I wrote an article making fun of Kungfu around Taiwan. It was just for fun and was kind of an inside joke so I didn't expect many people to read it. Well, this being the internet, it seems that stuff never goes away. I made a couple of jokes at the expense of various kungfu teachers which I would never do now. I have nothing but respect for any of the people I named in the article so I hope no one took offense. Just a little folly of youth. I took out all the direct comments about particular teachers and left in the jokes. Here it is. I apologize if anyone takes offense because at the time, I thought martial arts were often pretty ridiculous....I still do, but could probably make better jokes. 

Kung Fu is Kung Fu, It's Not Child's Play 
by Will Mounger

The reasons why Western folks come to Asia are myriad (well, there's at least three or four, does that count as myriad?), but one of the most interesting and pathetic reasons is to study martial arts. Unfortunately, inscrutable Asians rarely reveal their secrets to outsiders, and finding the right art and teacher can be as difficult as finding a clean shirt on laundry day. So to expedite you on your quest, Expo Extra offers the following as an introduction to the world of martial arts. Aikido

Aikido is the art of semi-circular dwarf tossing, except that regular sized people are used instead of dwarves. The art was created by Morihei Ueshiba after he became such a proficient martial artist that he declared, "I'm such a badass, I don't even have to hit people anymore. I'll create a martial art just to rub it in everyone's faces." Aikido became popular worldwide after Steven Segal hit the silver screen and threw more people than have been thrown since BA Barracus' stint on the A-team. 

Boxing 

Boxing is a man's sport and a great way to get in shape. It's also a lot of fun until you get hit. We here at Expo Extra had big plans in the past to have some boxing matches. The problem was that we are a bunch of wusses and should have chosen a different combat art more suitable for wusses such as Tai Chi, Tae Kwon Do, or archery. After we forget how bad it hurts to get hit, we may start boxing yet again, so give us a call if you are interested, tiny and frail.

Capoeira

In response to arts like Aikido and Judo, where you flip your opponents, Capoeira is content to say, "I can flip my own damn ass, thank you very much." You don't really learn to fight from Copoeira as much as jump around and boogie. If you do it for a long time, however, your muscles get bigger and people will probably not mess with you quite as much, unless of course you are short.

Drunken Fist 

Insert your own drunken bar brawl joke here. Gracie Jujitsu

Damn, those Gracies are baaaaad. Not only that, they're good looking too, especially Hickson and Hoyce. This family is almost single-handedly responsible for turning the exciting and wholesome pastime of fighting into two guys just rolling around on the floor for an hour.

Jeet Kune Do 

The style of no styles was created by the one and only, Bruce Lee. What a great idea! If you want to create a martial art, just make up a name and say it combines all the different martial arts. Nothing can defeat Jeet Kune Do! It's invincible! Why didn't we think of that?

Judo 

Don't bitch-slap your woman, bitch-ippon sonagi her ass. See how long it takes her to get you a damn beer after that. What I'm saying is, if you want to flip people, Judo's the way to go. If you don't want to flip people, perhaps you should broaden your mind, you punch-happy fool. We haven't seen too many places to study Judo around Taiwan. That seems odd given all the Tae Kwon Do places. I mean, where the hell was Korea while Japan was occupying Taiwan. I tell you, some people have no sense of history.

Karate 

Known as Krotty to its practitioners, this martial art involves a lot of standing around in uniforms, bowing and performing useless rituals called "forms". After you waste enough time and money, you get a different belt color. Whoopee-freakin-do! Luckily, this martial art also teaches discipline and focus to hyperactive little kids. Hasn't anyone ever heard of a little something called Ridilin for gosh sakes! How come every little Karate gi wearing little kid in Taiwan has a black belt? Do they even have reds, blue, and yellow belts? If I studied karate, I wouldn't let my sensei promote me. I would become a badass yellow belt and kick all those black belts' asses. Think you're so cool in your black belt. Bam! Don't mess with the yellow belts, baby. They rule!

Kendo

You remember when you were a kid around Christmas time, and you would take those wrapping paper cardboard tubes and fence with your brother or friend until you actually hit him and were left with this useless floppy dick thing. Well, in primitive places like Taiwan, they don't have those tubes (or Christmas!) and so are forced to use bamboo. Bamboo hurts so they have to wear all this expensive armor that looks pretty cool. They can sit there for hours just whacking each other in the head, back and forth, back and forth. Damn we're glad we were born in a developed country!

Muay Thai 

Oh those silly, primitive Thais. They are so backward as to think that learning to fight is merely a matter of training hard and hitting hard. Where are the pressure points, the forms, the grandmasters, we ask. It is fun to laugh at their childlike understanding, but not if there is an actual Thai boxer present. If you are interested in this sport, you should rent Kickboxer or Kickboxer II to watch Jean-Claude Van Damme and that guy from that Suzanne Summers sitcom (Step by Step?) to show you how it's done.

Ninjutsu 

Little is known about this secretive art and we certainly wouldn't want to spoil that. It is a well-known fact, however, that only a ninja can kill a ninja.

No Holds Barred Wrestling 

The UFC, vale tudo and other no holds barred events have proven that if two big wrestlers who can punch and kick go at it in the ring, one will surely win.

Savate 

We're not quite sure how to make fun of a French martial art, but we'll try. It's sissified…uhhh…brie…we saved your asses in WWII…rude, kickin bastards…aw crap, I can't do it. I love the French and I always will.

Sumo

Sumo is the most useful of all martial arts in that it teaches you how to get people out of your way. This is a skill that comes in handy every day, especially in a city like Taipei. The principles on which the sport is based are also irrefutably logical: if you want to get people out of your way, get fat, wear a diaper and push real hard. Expo Extra will continue to sponsor beach sumo matches whenever we are at the beach, drunk and bored.

Tae Kwon-Do 

This is the retarded neighbor kid of martial arts. People feel sorry for it, but are not above giving it a slap or two on the head if it gets in their way. Tae Kwon Do originated in Korea and spread all over the world because, heck, people love to kick! We were going to imply that only homosexuals studied Tae Kwon Do, but a lot those gay fellas fight pretty good, and they certainly couldn't have learned that from Tae Kwon Do. If you want to study this martial art, extend your finger and ram it in your eye until the urge goes away.

Tai Chi 

Even though Tai Chi is slow and practiced mostly by old people, it's a really effective martial art. No, really, you just don't understand the principles, man. You should try push hands with some of those old masters, dude, they will kick your ass. They would kick some ass in that UFC thing, but they're above that, man. You just don't get it, you use your opponent's energy against him, man. I don't even know why I talk about this stuff with you Neanderthals-you just don't get it.

Tiger, Crane, Snake, Dragon, Monkey, Eagle, Mantis, etc. (Kung Fu) 

Didn't you ever hear that expression, "Fight like a man, dammit?" Maybe, you should take it to heart. Seriously though, don't you think it's a bit much when one of those monkey fu guys does a form and pretends to pull a bug out of his hair and eat it? Do we really need that? I mean, you get the idea that it is supposed to be a monkey from all that jumping and rolling around. Do we really need the little "grooming" move.

Wing Chun 

Wing Chun is the style that Bruce Lee studied before he became a squealing martial arts legend. It can best be described as an advanced form of slap boxing or perhaps patty cake. According to legend, it was invented by a girl. According to reality, it is practiced by girls.

Wushu 

Wushu is the "Lord of the Dance" of kung fu. Its practitioners are on a never-ending quest to find the perfect pair of aqua and/or magenta pajamas.

Getting started with relaxation

The first step to doing wing chun, or really anything, and moving naturally is to first just “be”. What that involves is relaxation. We need to engage the body as little as possible. Most people are unaware of the tension they carry around all day that affects all their movements and interactions.

Relaxation is one of the most important concepts for learning wing chun or any other skill. Everything must be as effortless as possible from the beginning. If not, later when movement is involved it will be jerky and less effective and smooth. Basically you will reach a point where you stop improving. So first we need relax as much as possible while doing nothing.

Exercise 1- Let go

Lie down on the floor or a bed and relax all your muscles. Now tighten up your all your muscles and let them go again. Pay particular attention to tightening and relaxing the face, jaw, neck, shoulders and upper back. Now wake up your mind as much as possible and pay attention to what’s around you…the smells, sounds and what you see. The point is to take the body as close as possible to zero effort or maximum relaxation while the mind concentrates on the environment as much as possible. This may sound simple, but it is very important to actually do it a few times (or for the rest of your life). Next try doing the same thing while sitting or in other positions.

Exercise 2.- Standing

For this exercise, I just want you to stand. Standing requires muscles to hold you up and to keep you balanced. What we want to do is figure out how to use as little effort as possible while remaining standing. Stand and start relaxing until you start to slump. Now, imagine that there is a string holding the top of your head up for you. Let go of as many muscles as possible until you start to slump. Think of your body as a Jenga set that is precariously balanced and delicately move your bottom over your feet and your chest over your bottom and your neck over your chest and your head over your neck. The more all these areas are in alignment, the more balanced you will be so you can relax more. Later, I will talk about the wing chun stance and how that can help you relax even more and why it is the way it is.

Class information

Thanks to all for the class inquiries.

Maybe the best way to tell you what we do in my classes is to tell you why I started teaching or what led me to do so. I studied all kinds of martial arts when I lived in the US like Taekwondo, karate, aikido, judo, and thai boxing. I always felt like I was pretty good, but there were plenty of people better and I kind of leveled off and stopped improving somewhat. When I came to Taiwan, I studied wing chun under a famous teacher. I went there 6 times a week for about 3 years slowly improving. I liked wing chun but I just didn't think many of the wing chun people I met had ever actually fought or could even really defend themselves. I then totally changed my approach when i got injured and changed my way of thinking about wing chun and fighting and the basic way we control our bodies. This changed everything. Suddenly, I got better very quickly and everything was easy and relaxing. I spent the next 3 years trying to teach the other people I trained with how to do it but I met with a lot of resistance. I got bored and began studying jujitsu and going around to other martial arts schools and trying to find people that were skilled. I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for and a couple of people asked me to teach them.

I started teaching them about 8 years ago and I wasn't a very good teacher. I just tried to tell people what I was doing. Then I tried a different way and experimented while I tried to improve my understanding of everything related to movement, interaction, and fighting. Now, my classes are going very well and the students are seeing a lot of improvements.

So what the heck are we doing? The best way I can say it is that to do any athletic endeavor from basketball to marital arts to dancing well, there is a "natural" or athletic way to control your body. 99% people use an inefficient or "unnatural" way. What we do in my classes is first learn how to move this way. Then, we learn how to have physical interactions and the basic principles that work in interactions from wrestling to dancing. Then we learn to fight. Here we start with chisao from traditional wing chun because it is a great exercise when done properly. Then we move on to the whole spectrum of fighting but in such a way that it gets into the body and becomes instinctive.

For those interested in the classes, I can guarantee that you will learn some very interesting or amazing things about how the body and interaction works. I can't guarantee that you will get in great shape very quickly. The beginning stuff has to be done slowly so that you don't revert to old habits. After a couple of months the pace will pick up greatly and it will become better exercise in the traditional sense. The stuff you learn will apply to the way you walk, the way you play music and dance and many other areas. While we will talk about this stuff occassionally, we concentrate on fighting.

Also, as far as learning to fight or practical skills, that will be fairly slow as well, the easiest way to get up to speed quickly if you want to defend yourself is take about 6 months of thai boxing or wrestling. What we do will take a little more time, but will totally change the way you move and/or fight. I am not trying to make people fighters, I am trying to make them incredibly talented fighters. That isn't easy so, depending on the person, it can take some time.

As for other stuff, I have around 12 students right now. Two-thirds have studied many forms of martial arts for many years and most of the others have no experience and sometimes little interest in fighting in general (they like the movement stuff). We are all very laid back and joke around a lot and all get along well. We all love martial arts and talking about stupid stuff but really can't stand hippie dippie qi talk and arguments about which style can kick ass or lineage or any other kungfu nerd type stuff. We are just regular guys and girls.

Wing Chun classes are taught at Sun Yat-sen Park

Tuesday morning 10:00am-12:00am under the performance hall overhang

Tuesday and Thursday evenings near the fish pond from 8:00-10:00pm

Call Will at 0930632213 or look here for more information.